Thanksgiving is a time for sharing, a time for love. It’s a time to celebrate a true American tradition. But almost a week at home could jeopardize another American tradition – underage drinking.

But heading home doesn’t have to mean leaving the campus atmosphere behind. The key to keeping your break exciting is convincing your family to join the fray. Many responsible adults are averse to the idea of drinking with their kids, but remember: They were young once too. With some classy beer, the right approach and a little luck, Mom and Dad will be doing keg stands in no time.

Some students have already uncovered their parents’ wild sides. In fact, though many adults sport an alcohol-free faade, students report boozing with their elders.

‘They just took me out to dinner,’ said Kaitlin Scharp, a sophomore in The College of Arts and Sciences, ‘and they let me have a drink … or two. They were going to come to the bar, but then it ended up being too late.’

‘It’s kind of like a tradition,’ said sophomore international relations major Jacqueline Tllez of drinking at family dinners. ‘They kind of trust that I’m not going to get drunk. Even if I am, it’s still kind of under their supervision.’

Stricter parents, though, aren’t so open to their kids getting wasted at family events. And when older family members don’t drink in the first place, it’s almost impossible for their college-age counterparts to get the party started.

‘The parents have an obligation to set an example,’ said Marty Doto, father of sophomore television, radio and film major Kristen Doto. ‘I’ve heard of parents getting drunk with their kids, and whether you’re over 21 or under 21, it’s just not the right thing to do.’

Mary Tiedemann, whose daughter Sarah is a sophomore public relations major, says that since the family rarely drinks, her children won’t get a chance to participate in such alcoholic activities when they visit home.

‘Each family has to decide what’s best,’ Tiedemann said. ‘We’ve always been a stick-to-the-rules kind of family.’

Meanwhile, some parents are still on the fence between pure righteousness and flagrant intoxication.

‘Him having a beer with me now, no way,’ said Dave Chase of his son Matt, a high school senior who is visiting Syracuse this weekend for a college tour. ‘It’s just the liability is too much.’

Chase sipped his Corona as he sat with his family at a booth in Acropolis.

‘Our oldest son is 20 years old,’ he said, ‘and I let him have a few beers and watch the game.’

In all but the strictest of cases, drinking with the family isn’t as daunting a challenge as it seems. If your parents, aunts and uncles haven’t already revealed their heavy drinking habits, drop subtle hints and try to elicit fond memories of their youthful days. Be open with them about your partying habits – whether you drink once a month or hit the bars four nights a week, don’t sugarcoat it.

And if you’re too embarrassed to admit to your debauchery, it’s time to re-evaluate your lifestyle.

Odds are, though, your parents will be understanding and appreciate your honesty. If you get a positive response, drop the bomb.

‘My dad took my ID, and he’s a cop,’ Scharp said. If her relationship with her father was based on false sobriety, such a discovery could have lead to disaster. Instead, it simply created a more comfortable, candid relationship.

‘I showed it to him,’ she said, ‘and he was laughing at my ass.’

Once you’re on the same page, it’s time to impress with your classy taste in booze. Pick up some fine wine or top-shelf liquor – or at least some beer that costs more than $11 a case. If you do some reconnaissance and figure out the family favorites, they’ll be hard-pressed to turn you down when you make your party proposition.

Sadly, though, even the most cunning of underage drinkers sometimes can’t break their parents down.

‘I don’t think I’d try to,’ said Worcester, Mass., pre-frosh Matt Chase. ‘Maybe in a couple years or so.’ With any luck, a Syracuse education will help him in his quest for family-friendly inebriation.

‘As long as the kids are underage,’ Marty Doto said, ‘we don’t promote the idea of them drinking with us.’

The hardline approach isn’t always the way to go, though. There’s a chance that such strict prohibition will yield out-of-control drinkers once students are away from home.

‘I think it only makes the kids rebel and want to drink more,’ Tllez said.

Some parents feel the same way, so there’s still hope for getting tanked with your folks this weekend.

‘They don’t condone it,’ Scharp said, ‘but they kind of know it’s going to happen anyway. My mom looks more down on it than my dad does. My dad’s just like, ‘Kids will be kids.”

Published on November 20, 2003 at 12:00 pm