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Personal Essay

Dress up how you want, not how you’re expected to

Nora Benko | Illustration Editor

On Halloween, our costumes give us the chance to pretend to be someone else for the night. But, our columnist writes that who we choose to dress up as may say more about our personalities than we realize.

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In the 2004 cult classic “Mean Girls,” Cady Heron, played by Lindsay Lohan, laid down the unspoken rule that she observed at her first Halloween party living in the United States:

“In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In girl world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total sl*t, and no other girls can say anything about it. The hardcore girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears.”

While Heron was the odd one out at the party in her zombie “ex-wife” costume, her whole spiel and role as the protagonist made being “different” appealing. Heron was charming, awkward and by the end, she got the hot-varsity-athlete-guy by being herself. That is, the self that deviates from social norms by wearing Zombie “ex-wife” costumes on Halloween.

Dressing up as a non-sexy zombie “ex-wife” in 2004 might have gotten you weird looks because it didn’t fit into the unspoken girl world rule that Heron so bluntly states. In 2023, dressing up as a non-sexy Zombie “ex-wife” will probably get you weird looks because we’ve now established that it’s annoying to try to be different. On Halloween, we dress up to transform ourselves into someone or something else for the night, and yet, our costumes seem to be more of a reflection of who we are than our everyday clothes.



As humans, we like to classify ourselves and others – we like to determine the “us” and the “them.” It’s why we find value in our BuzzFeed “What cheese are you?” quiz results. It’s why we care about whether we’re mainstream or hyper-individualistic. We live in a nuanced world, and yet, seem to gravitate towards identifying the black and white.

It would be silly to say that no part of us cares about the opinions of others when we choose a costume. We walk a fine line: don’t be part of the collective or you’ll be boring and basic; don’t be too individual or you’re a try-hard pick-me.

Whether subconsciously or not, we factor this into our decision making. There’s nothing wrong with choosing how we want to present ourselves, and there is simultaneously no way of determining if how we choose to present ourselves is how others will perceive us.

Halloweekend is the time of year when the concept of categorization and its effects are widely unquestioned. It’s a time where we can dress up as our heroes, villains or the sexy versions of them. It’s a time of year when judgment is expected, even welcomed with open arms. Judgment will fly either way, so dress up however you want.

This doesn’t just apply to Halloween, of course – we make these choices every day, whether it’s to protect ourselves from danger, deviate from social norms or anything in between. We can only hope that our “costumes” – whether during Halloweekend, or the rest of our lives – will be taken for how we intended them to be.

Whether you decided to dress up as a zombie “ex-wife” or wore lingerie with mouse ears this Halloween, expressing yourself despite the inevitable opinions of others is a lesson that can hold even after Oct. 31.

Maya Aguirre is a sophomore Magazine, News and Digital Journalism major. Her column appears biweekly. She can be reached at msaguirr@syr.edu.

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