As the night grows dark and an empty bedroom grows cold and lonely, only one thing can break the silence – the warm vibration of a cell phone.

With any luck, it’s a booty call. The common late-night proposition often leads to an evening of passion and an awkward walk home, but never an ounce of commitment.

‘Simply get together. See each other in person for the sole purpose of hooking up,’ said Katie Mack, a sophomore public relations major.

‘It’s a phone call when a guy’s drunk,’ said Lucas Firliet, a sophomore bioengineering major. ‘Basically, when you want ass.’

The Collins English Dictionary added ‘booty call’ to its catalog of the language this year, and its cut-and-dry definition seems to coincide with student perception. The booty call, the dictionary says, is ‘a meeting arranged for the purpose of having sex.’

LET’S GET IT ON

Before any action goes down, one of the lovers has to initiate the rendez-vous. It’s a delicate process that requires chivalry, charisma and spontaneity. For a quick fix, there’s one foolproof pick-up line.

‘The typical motivator of a booty call,’ Mack said, ‘is ‘Do you want to come over and watch a movie?”

The movie sets up the perfect hookup situation: You’re in the dark and huddled together on a bed or sofa. And since it’s under the pretense of an innocuous, non-sexual meeting, it provides an easy way out if things go wrong.

‘You could actually want to just watch a movie,’ said Terese Sawicki, a sophomore accounting major.

‘We might just want to snuggle,’ added sophomore marketing major Heather Hyman, ‘or spoon.’

Once you’re in with your potential hookup, it’s important to play it cool and keep up the faade that you’re seeking more than just carnal pleasure.

‘You have to be very attuned into her,’ Hyman said. ‘Ask her how her night was.’

‘He should act like he wants everything but what he really wants,’ Firliet said.

The phone isn’t the only source of action, either. Since AOL Instant Messenger has become a seemingly ubiquitous force on campus, the booty IM has taken hold. The instant message has its own quirks, but the general strategy remains the same.

‘In IM, guys can be a little more discreet,’ Hyman said. ‘You can’t tell their tone of voice.’

‘You can tell they’re drunk though,’ Firliet said.

Many students agreed that subtlety and decency are keys to the successful quest for booty. The question, however, is who should make the call.

‘It can be from the girl to the guy,’ Hyman said, ‘but I think the guy to the girl is like a booty call, and the girl to the guy is more innocent.’

In some relationships the line doesn’t even need to be drawn.

‘Whoever wants it is the one who has to call,’ said Lauren Adamski, a junior psychology and women’s studies major. ‘If it’s understood that you both want it, then usually there’s no need to talk about it.’

No matter who the lovers are, it’s important they make a few gestures of sincerity and admiration before heading to the bedroom.

‘He should definitely come get you,’ Hyman said. ‘Pick a girl up. Don’t make her walk.’

‘But not if he’s drinking,’ Sawicki said.

Indeed, transportation is often a problem for drunken booty-callers. What’s worse, however, is when alcohol leads to loneliness or embarrassment.

‘[I’ve had] unsuccessful ones when I’m really drunk,’ Firliet said. ‘2:30 [a.m.] on a Tuesday night, not a good call. No matter how much they like you.’

THE MORNING AFTER

When the veil of inebriation is lifted, public embarrassment is sometimes unavoidable.

‘You usually see the girls in the heels and their borrowed shirt from the last night,’ Hyman said.

Those girls are making the trek home from their late-night trysts, a venture that’s affectionately nicknamed the ‘walk of shame.’

‘It’s called that, but it’s not necessarily,’ Hyman said. ‘It could be a successful night, and then you just have to walk home.’

For South Campus residents who head to the dorms for action, the journey is a mile longer and infinitely more frustrating.

‘On Sunday mornings [the buses] stop at like 3 a.m.,’ Firliet said. ‘You hit up after hours, you hook up, and then you’re fucked, because you can’t get back.’

When your source of lovin’ is hours away, it’s an even longer – but less public – ride home.

‘In the LGBT community, since there’s less of us, the people that you’re hooking up with or having these booty calls with are farther away,’ Adamski said. ‘So it’s more like a booty weekend.’

There’s little argument that the booty call affords a few moments of pleasure, but the aftermath can become a social and emotional roller coaster ride.

‘I’ve had regrets this year,’ Firliet said. ‘I’ve gotten shit from other guys, when you realize the next morning what you’ve woken up with.’

And when you see your partner again, the question of a second ‘date’ often looms tensely in the post-coital air.

‘There’s no answer to that question,’ Mack said. ‘There’s no solution. And it’s always awkward.’

Beyond the torment and discomfort that often follow a sexual encounter, the booty call raises much more serious concerns. Since the booty call is associated with promiscuity, Sawicki said, it raises fears of sexually transmitted diseases.

But in the end, the booty call intends to provide a night of friendly, no-strings-attached action. And there’s no better feeling than when it works like a charm.

‘It’s not a walk of shame,’ Firliet said. ‘You have to be proud of that, because you got ass last night.’

Published on November 5, 2003 at 12:00 pm